Friday, August 10, 2018

Build the Space Wall. And make Mexico pay for it.

After watching our Vice-President so eloquently take command of the campaign for the long-overdue Space Force - - watch his deeply-moving, dare I say profoundly-spiritual Space Force call to (literal) arms - - it's clear that Democratic opposition to building Trump's Southern Border Wall can be broken only if Pence is allowed to bring the full force of his personality, authenticity and devastatingly seductive appeal to the issue.
.Mike Pence official portrait.jpg
Obviously, there's no US-Mexico border wall in sight (trust me, a few thousand migrant kids' chain-link cages, with some summer camp aluminum blankets and donated teddy bears thrown in to pacify the photographers, is not the kind of manly border wall Republicans expect and deserve) despite all the hard work Trump has dedicated to the issue when he's not golfing, texting with Kim, working on his backup bucket of KFC or sticking pins in his collection of Robert Mueller voodoo dolls.

Normally, Trump is the best at closing deals, whether he's winning trade wars by having the losers in China add more retaliatory tariffs, or schooling the lightweight LeBron James in everything from new school construction to blindfolded dunking, but I can say without your shouting 'Fake News' or 'Lock her Up' that without the full force of The Pence Force, there'll be no Space Force or forceful Southern Border Wall, either.

The solution is simpler than a Mike Pence dance card: the White House, or perhaps Sean Hannity, should immediately launch The Mike Pence Campaign For The Space Wall.

And Mexico will pay for for the Space Wall, because it's really the Border Wall 2.0, just taller.

And because it’s the best, fairest and most reliably-effective way to be completely safe from aliens who could easily slip onto our shores, having first jet-packed from Mexico to refueling stations on the dark side of the moon where they could plot out-of-sight for new ways to steal jobs and welfare money on our side of the border.

With Commander Pence saying that Space Force would be operational by 2020, he might even be able to point to the Space Wall as just the kind of achievement a deserving replacement for an impeached-and-removed-from-office President Trump could feature ehen asking the voters to extend his Presidency to a full, four-year term.

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