Thursday, November 7, 2019

Why the Senate leader doesn't know what he doesn't know

I checked around today with my political consultant and linguistics friends today for help explaining how someone
Wisc Sen. Scott Fitzgerald.jpg
with "Leader" in his title could appear to go blank on something basic in his job description. 

Can you imagine hearing "I don't know" five times from your heart surgeon as you're about to have your chest cracked open, or from the airliner captain during your flight's takeoff roll into a system of transatlantic thunderstorms?
On the Senate floor Tuesday, Fitzgerald told Democrats he didn’t know when they would convene the session. 
“I don’t know,” said Fitzgerald, a Republican from Juneau who is running for Congress. “If it’s at 2 o’clock, we couldn’t do it any earlier than that, but I don’t know. I don’t know.” 
Later, Fitzgerald told reporters he didn’t know whether he would alert them about when Thursday’s session will be held. 
“I don't know yet because I don't know what we're doing,” he said.
The best advice that came back from the brain trust?

Just add the phrase "because my campaign scheduler is moving some things around,' or 'because the gun lobby hasn't sent me the final talking points yet' after each of his remarks, above, and then - - now you know.

For further expert opinion, I suggest tracking down former Defense Department Secretary and experienced obfuscationist Donald Rumseld
"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."
Actually, I don't know. Maybe it's a bad idea to give this would-be member of Congress more words to remember.


Man MKE said...

He got part of it right: "I don't know what we're doing." No shit, Sherlock.

Anonymous said...

OK but what about the things Fitzzy knows and knows he shouldn't know them & doesn't want the public/us to know that he knows...just askin' for a friend...