Friday, August 23, 2013

51st State In The Former Colorado? Next Up, The Free State Of Walkersha

If the Most-Gun-Crazed part of Colorado secedes, can the 52nd State of Walkersha be far behind?

Walkersha - - formerly Waukesha County - - could absorb like-minded Ozaukee and Washington Counties and, with the most folks in the three-county state, put its Capitol at the current seat of regional power in the SEWRPC building in Pewaukee's office park.

Freed from constraints in current Wisconsin sharia law, Walkersha could ban all roundabouts, left turns, speed limits, buses, passenger trains, Lionel trains, and affordable housing.

Also outlawed - - plenty of politically-correct, stupid words, like anything that begins with "conservati" and ends as "conservation," not "conservative."

Further banned: the words "Milwaukee," "Madison," "Democrat," "progressive," and "liberal," (see exceptions, italicized, below).

And: any title or acronym with the letters NBC, EPA, and OBAMA, or any three of the four letters in ACLU. So ALEC is fine. Special exception for UCLA.

Also banned: any phrase containing the words "green" and "energy," "climate" and "change," "Hillary" and "Clinton."

Some exceptions:

"Activist" is permissible in Walkesha only if followed by the words "liberal" and "judge(s)." 

Likewise, "rail" can be used only in the phrase "against light rail."

The word "union," such as in "civil unions," or "teachers union" is forbidden, though "union thug" is permissible desirable. Bonus civic credit if used in a call to talk radio.

Walkersha can finance its own learning centers, colleges, national guard, highways, bridges, sewer and water systems - - but hey, what price liberty from the tyranny known as "Wisconsin," (also banned, if used in a sentence with "Solidarity Singers," "Doyle," "Barrett" or "Planned Parenthood").

Best benefit from 52nd statehood: every Walkersha public school - - if the ruling Libertarian/Tea Party/GOP coalition keeps them around as choices  - - gets a Native American mascot and nickname.

[Editorial note: "Walkersha" shamelessly stolen from old progressive Milwaukee pal SF, circa 2003. Hat tip.)


Anonymous said...

He he. Amusing. These wingnuts are clueless morons. Is there any stupid idea they won't champion? Did you see about the white supremacist who wants to start his own racist town in North Dakota?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a great place... Glad I wouldn't have to move to be part of it.

Is there anything we could do about property taxes as I would anticipate housing prices would skyrocket?

Couple of questions though...

Could we charge a toll on 94 for democrats driving between Milwaukee & Madison? I was thinking $10 per car?

If we finance our own projects, does that mean we can keep all of our tax money, or would the democrats still want to keep collecting it and sending it to the failing schools in Milwaukee?

Would Bill Kramer be eligible to run for Governor immediately?

Could Tom Barrett try to run for Governor here too?

Finally, what do we do with all the democrats currently living here.

Can we create some type of refugee village at State Fair Park until they find housing? Perhaps we could ask Graeme Zielinski to drive the shuttle bus?

Paul Berge said...

Republicans have already cemented their minority rule of Wisconsin government, so perhaps it's the Democrats who'll want to secede here.