Scott Fitzgerald turns 57 on Nov. 16th, so Happy Birthday, probable Congressperson-elect, and enjoy the midlife crisis which awaits you: life in a shrunken House of Representatives minority caucus where you will be outranked by plenty of Democrats and some former GOP senate colleagues, like Tom Tiffany and Glenn Grothman, who used to call you 'Leader' with committee assignments you made and agendas you set.
Daily living in an ultra-liberal Democratic city where masks are ubiquitous and mandatory to stem the pandemic you've enabled here, but which, ironically, have the side effect of granting you even more anonymity than is already enjoyed in DC by impact-free representatives like Mike Gallagher and Bryan Steil who 'represent' districts in Wisconsin as gerrymandered as the one Jim Sensenbrenner left for you to pocket like a $20 bill which blew under your wingtip.
Fascinating, isn't it, that these so-called small government penny-pinchers say they hate Washington.
Yet they can't wait to get there and more than triple to $174,000 the annual $50,000+ salaries paid by the 'hard-working Wisconsin taxpayers.'
You know, those bumper-sticker people these phony conservatives love to tweet about come election season - and, in Fitzgerald's case whose paycheck money he shamelessly collected after adjourning the Senate more than six months ago.
While the deadly COVID-19 pandemic his bull-headed official inaction and partisan obstruction helped relentlessly spread, sicken and kill across Wisconsin statewide.
Five minutes ago, The New York Times again reported giant spikes in pandemic illness, hospitalizations and deaths in Wisconsin.
Where is Fitzgerald and his Assembly absentee counterpart Robin Vos today? No doubt planning their next lame-duck attack on the Governor and long-term strategy to pull off another self-preserving, paycheck-guaranteeing gerrymander instead of action against the virus.
I only hope that someone reminds Speaker Nancy Pelosi before she assigns your office space that you helped undermine and humiliate the duly-and-repeatedly elected Democratic Secretary of State Doug La Follette by ejecting him from the constitutional office's traditional Capitol spot and forcing him - and the only staff member whose job survived the same petty Republican partisan purge - into a remote state Capitol basement warren with nearly one-seventh the square-footage.
Surely the Speaker knows which office is closest to the cleaning supply closet, farthest from the House chambers and most fittingly-appropriate for you to decamp for the years you helped scam for yourself.