I'm taking Trump's advice. We've got enough magic tools for the whole family to rake away what could fuel the next great Milwaukee forest floor conflagration, just like the Finns taught us.
And we're super prepared for the next Category 5 superstorm with just what you need from his toolkit.
Because Trump knows things and has smart friends who keep him one step ahead of disaster.
Though Trump's not perfect; somehow he forgot what his his "very, very substantial" friend Jim told him about avoiding Paris, because boy, oh boy, did Trump have a bad time there, what with the bad press and the hidden no-fly zone - - who knew? - - and the wet hair and basically toute la nerf meters.
Trump has powerful friends, too. He's got one named Roger who has a friend in London who has a friend in Moscow who can make your opponent's emails appear and her candidacy flat out vanish.
Speaking of disappearing acts, Trump's got a new friend named Whitaker who can make Robert Mueller and Lady Justice disappear.
And another friend in North Korea whose magic is strong that he can make an entire nuclear arsenal disappear right before your very eyes.
Trump himself also has super-powers, but he's still learning how to manage them. Like thinking he made Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal go poof, but back they came.
But credit where it's due: he did make 34 Republic incumbent members of Congress decide to retire.
And he flipped the whole House of Representatives to the Democrats - - even all the entire delegation in a county in California as orange as his coiffure.
Not to mention making sure thousands of adults from Mexico and Central America can't see their children, vice-versa.
He even made made sure one incumbent Republican Governor got rejected by voters who once loved his winking and snacking, and who then found himself sitting on a cold day in a tree stand pretending to be Hannibal Lecter.
Now that's supernatural!
Though Trump's not perfect; somehow he forgot what his his "very, very substantial" friend Jim told him about avoiding Paris, because boy, oh boy, did Trump have a bad time there, what with the bad press and the hidden no-fly zone - - who knew? - - and the wet hair and basically toute la nerf meters.
Trump has powerful friends, too. He's got one named Roger who has a friend in London who has a friend in Moscow who can make your opponent's emails appear and her candidacy flat out vanish.
Speaking of disappearing acts, Trump's got a new friend named Whitaker who can make Robert Mueller and Lady Justice disappear.
And another friend in North Korea whose magic is strong that he can make an entire nuclear arsenal disappear right before your very eyes.
Trump himself also has super-powers, but he's still learning how to manage them. Like thinking he made Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal go poof, but back they came.
But credit where it's due: he did make 34 Republic incumbent members of Congress decide to retire.
And he flipped the whole House of Representatives to the Democrats - - even all the entire delegation in a county in California as orange as his coiffure.
Not to mention making sure thousands of adults from Mexico and Central America can't see their children, vice-versa.
He even made made sure one incumbent Republican Governor got rejected by voters who once loved his winking and snacking, and who then found himself sitting on a cold day in a tree stand pretending to be Hannibal Lecter.
Now that's supernatural!
What a dork!
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