Is May is the cruelest month? Wisconsinites will immediately note the omission to the column headline question about how the GOP should choose which candidates get to take the debate stage - - "Who's the studdliest of them all?"
...why not just select our senior superlatives the way we did in high school? Who is something-est — the tallest, handsomest, smartest, wittiest, friendliest, cutest, nicest, toughest, most likely to succeed and, not least, most likely to attract about 40% of the Hispanic vote?
Oh, and who can beat Hillary Clinton? Lest I be a spoiler, I'll let you fill in the blanks. I'd be willing to bet that the superlatives selected will be the 10 contestants — I mean, candidates — appearing on the big stage come August. Hints: Jeb Bush is 6-feet-3; Marco Rubio and Bush speak Spanish fluently; Ted Cruz speaks Spanglish; and Mike Huckabee is pretty funny.
"Stubbliest?" Not in the GOP clean-cut sweepstakes.
ReplyDeleteI looked through all the superlatives and Walker just doesn't really make the "-est" of anything. I did think of one "-est" where it's no contest- Walker easily wins as most dishonest, as we in Wisconsin know so well.
ReplyDeleteAndy Borowitz had a refreshing take on this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/biker-brawl-suspects-only-slightly-outnumber-republican-candidates
The Desperado from Delavan was a Dipstick in High School. Not so studly since Tonette gave him the bald spot.
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous 9:25 PM : No change, then. He's been a Dipstick ever since.
ReplyDeletePretty sure at least half of these guys have Grindr profiles, look forward to seeing them soon. So I do get Parker's point, just wish she'd at least share screenshots if not links.
ReplyDelete